Editor Carolyn Kent Women’s Football Hub
When most people hear the phrase pelvic floor, the first thing that springs to mind is usually Kegel exercises. For years, the message delivered to women, especially athletes has been that the pelvic floor needs strengthening. “Do your Kegels” has become a universal piece of advice, often offered with little assessment, nuance, or explanation.
But what if the thing many women really need isn’t more contraction… but more relaxation?
This question sits at the centre of my recent conversation with women’s health physiotherapist and Pilates instructor Chloe Evans, who joined me on the Women’s Football Hub podcast to discuss why pelvic floor relaxation is the missing piece in so many women’s health journeys. And not just for wellbeing, but for performance, confidence, and quality of life.
In this blog, I’ll take you through the key insights from our discussion why relaxation matters, how stress affects pelvic health, why language is so important, and what simple strategies every woman can start using today.
The Pelvic Floor: More Than Just a Muscle to Strengthen
Chloe works daily with women experiencing symptoms such as urinary incontinence, prolapse sensations, discomfort, or pain with intimacy. Many of them, she explains, can perform a pelvic floor contraction perfectly well. The problem is what happens before the contraction:
Their pelvic floor never really switches off.
Athletes, in particular, are prone to living in a constant state of tension. Core muscles stay braced, breathing patterns shift, shoulders creep upwards, jaws clench, and the pelvic floor sits slightly lifted, sometimes all day.
Relaxation is the starting point.
Why Stress Matters More Than We Think
One of the most powerful parts of our conversation centred on the nervous system. The pelvic floor is deeply connected to our “fight or flight” response, our physiological reaction to stress. Whether you’re preparing for a match, dealing with work pressure, or simply trying to get the kids out of the door in the morning, the body doesn’t differentiate. Stress is stress.
When the nervous system is activated:
- Breathing becomes shallow
- The diaphragm moves less
- The jaw tightens
- The rib cage stiffens
- The pelvic floor lifts and holds
If this becomes your daily pattern, your pelvic floor starts working overtime. This can contribute to symptoms including leakage, heaviness, discomfort, or tension during intimacy. The answer? Not more tightening but learning how to release.
Why Language Matters
As physios, coaches, and clinicians, the way we speak shapes how a patient understands their body. Chloe is particularly passionate about avoiding terms like tight, hypertonic, or overactive, all of which can lead women to interpret their bodies as “broken.”
Instead, she uses language like:
soften, lengthen, let go, melt.
These might feel unusual especially for athletes who are used to direct, performance‑based terminology, but they work.
Pain with Intimacy: A Topic We Must Stop Avoiding
Pain with intimacy is far more common than most people realise, yet many women feel embarrassed, isolated, or unsure where to turn. Chloe spoke candidly about how she introduces these conversations safely and respectfully in clinic.
Often, pain stems from protective tightening. Sometimes it’s related to breathing, posture, stress, previous negative experiences, or simply lack of awareness. In many cases, women have disconnected from the area entirely either emotionally or physically.
Physiotherapy support can include:
- Relaxation strategies
- Breathing work
- Gentle stretching
- Education
- Rebuilding awareness and connection
- Signposting to psychosexual therapy where appropriate
The key message? Pain with intimacy is not something you need to “just live with.” Help exists, and it’s compassionate, evidence‑based, and entirely normal.
The Mind–Body Connection: Why Pilates Helps
Chloe’s journey into Pilates began after a serious wrist injury left her questioning her career. What she found in Pilates was not just physical rehabilitation but a profound mind–body awareness that now deeply informs her pelvic health work.
Pilates teaches people how to:
- Notice their breath
- Move with intention
- Sense where their limbs are in space
- Coordinate movement and breathing
- Build strength from a relaxed foundation
Many athletes assume Pilates is “too easy” until they try it properly. But more importantly, it helps them feel their bodies again. That awareness is what makes pelvic floor relaxation possible.
Relaxation as Performance Training
While pelvic floor health may not sound like a performance topic at first, anyone who has worked in elite sport knows that athletes are people first. Their relationships, confidence, stress levels, and emotional wellbeing all influence how they perform.
Learning to regulate breathing, calm the nervous system, and release unnecessary tension can benefit:
- penalty‑takers preparing under pressure
- players returning from injury
- athletes experiencing performance anxiety
- women struggling with symptoms they’ve never mentioned
- staff members dealing with the relentless pace of the season
Relaxation isn’t soft. It’s strategic.
Practical Tools You Can Try Today
Chloe shared several accessible strategies that women can begin using immediately:
1. The 4–4 Breathing Pattern
Breathe in through the nose for four seconds, then out for four seconds. Repeat until your rib cage expands naturally and the breath feels low and wide rather than high and shallow.
2. Jaw, neck, and shoulder check-ins
Tension here often mirrors pelvic floor tension. Soften one, and the other often follows.
3. Lying down before bed
If you struggle to relax during the day, try practicing breathing and pelvic floor release when already preparing for sleep.
4. Sitting on a small towel roll
This helps improve awareness of lifting and lowering without bearing down.
5. Finding your personal relaxation tool
Pilates, yoga, walking outdoors, low‑impact movement, baking, or even learning a musical instrument your relaxation strategy can be unique to you. The goal is simple: find something that lets your nervous system settle.
Final Thoughts
Pelvic floor relaxation isn’t a niche topic. It’s a vital part of women’s health, athletic performance, and general wellbeing. Whether you’re dealing with symptoms, supporting players, or simply curious about your body, awareness and relaxation can make a profound difference.
And if anything we’ve discussed resonates with you particularly around intimacy, discomfort, or tension please consider reaching out to a pelvic health physiotherapist. Help is available, and you deserve it.
Blog note (as requested):
This blog was created with assistance from AI and then checked, edited, and finalised by the podcast host.
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